Danny the Dashing

Once upon a time in a magical kingdom ruled by a just and goodly Lord there was a farmer and his three sons. Long had they prospered on their ancestral homeland and lived a simple life of the land, farming giant bean crops that had been purchased long ago from a magician of some note and power.

The farmer and his three sons were kind and generous, always offering a third of their bean crop to the giants who lived in the clouds above them, in return for safe passage at the top of their bean crop to harvest the rarest and most delicious of bean.

And so the Farmer and his three sons might have lived the rest of their lives in prosperity if not the goodly lord's wicked son, a knavish and ugly fellow, and bean mongeror, ordered that every bean harvested in the land be given exclusively to the crown as a royal tax. So greedy was he that if one bean was found not given to the royal treasury by winter's beginnings, that death awaited the perpetrator of the crime.

The giants, angered by their loss of tribute, ripped the bean stockings up from their vantage in the clouds. The farmer and indeed most farmers in the land lamented their plight, for the loss of their bean crops did not deter the evil prince from enacting a terrible and unjust bean quota, and winter's beginnings loomed around the bend like the pillory awaits the drunkard.

The first and eldest son told his father "Fear not, for I will journey into the wood and beyond, if necessary, to seek the magician who sold our great grandfather Jack the beans that brought us such prosperity, and entreat him to sell us more."

With that the eldest son took half the farmer father's gold and set off down the trail to the deep and unknown forest.

After a day the first son came across a tortoise that had fallen on its back. "Please upright me" said the tortoise. "And I will help you find the magician."

"What would a tortoise known about magicians?" said the first son. "I think you can stay where you are and I will continue on my way."

With those words spoken the tortoise transformed into a terrible demon, one of Lucifer's own generals, and gobbled up the first son, gold, garments and all.

As Winter's Beginnings drew closer, the second son told his father "Fear not, for I will journey into the wood and beyond, if necessary, to seek the magician who sold our great grandfather Jack the beans that brought us such prosperity, and entreat him to sell us more."

With that the second son took the remaining gold and set off down the trail to the deep and unknown forest.

After a day the second son came across a tortoise that had fallen on its back. "Please upright me," said the tortoise. "I have been stuck here all day and my family is missing me."

The second son up-righted the poor tortoise. Then the tortoise said " I am ever so thirsty, would you get me a drink from the nearby brook? If you do, I will help you find the magician."

"The second son said "I cannot help you further, for I am pressed for time. Besides, what would a tortoise know of magicians?"

With those words spoken the tortoise transformed into a terrible demon, one of Lucifer's own generals, and gobbled up the second son, gold, garments and all.

Winter's beginnings was but a fortnight away when the youngest son, known as Danny the Dashing because of his quick wits and speed, asked his father for leave to seek the magician. Danny was a good and righteous lad, who always remembered to say his prayers, and leave was soon given.

"But what will you take the magician for payment?" asked the father. "We have no more gold left."

Danny responded "Why, my good father, I will take the old and tarnished singing harp we keep in the attic. Surely that will be worth the price of magic beans."

The father, who had quite forgotten the magical harp in the attic, property of their Great Grandfather Jack, fetched and dusted the harp, and soon Dashing Danny was on his way.

After a day Danny the Dashing came across a tortoise on its back. "Please help me" Said the tortoise in a most piteous tone. "I have been stuck here for ages."

The harp began to sing:

"From fire and brimstone this tortoise was wrought, For living things in this world he cares for them naught, But help him, if that is indeed your wish, For that may spare you from becoming a dish."

Danny took pity on the tortoise and up-righted him. "Could you get me a drink?" asked the tortoise. "I am ever so thirsty. If you get me a drink I can help you find the magician."

Danny never could stand to see a beast of the earth in trouble, so he picked the tortoise up and began walking towards a nearby pond to let the tortoise drink. As he was walking, the harp began to sing anew

"This fiery tortoise thirsts for more than a drink, He thirsts for your soul and your sweet tender meat, Be wise and throw him to the pond to sink, For water can quelsh his unholy heat."

Now Danny was a smart fellow and knew the harp to be wise, so as he approached the water he feigned a trip over a large root and threw the tortoise to the middle if the pond. The tortoise transformed into a horrible demon and began smoking as he writhed in the water.

"Oh please," screeched the demon. "Pull me out, and I swear by my fifty fingers and toes to help you find the magician and bring you no harm."

"I do not trust a minion of Satan," said Danny. "I will find my own way, and leave you to yours."

"If you pull me out of this pond" Begged the demon, who was growing smaller like a candle flickering in the wind, "I swear on my mother of Babylon to help you find the magician who has bound my two older brothers into service, and cause mischief to man to longer."

Dashing Danny was satisfied with this oath, and pulled the demon out, who was no bigger than thimble by the time Danny rescued him. The demon turned into a speckled moth and sat himself behind Danny's ear, and began to speak:

"The magician lives in a tower in the middle of this wood. When you approach this tower, you will see an old man sitting on a rock. This is my second brother. He will ask you if you would care for a drink of his wineglass. Refuse, for that is the wine of age, but merely tell him that old men have earned the right through a long and productive life to enjoy such leisure. He will smile show you two ways into the tower: a wide gate leading up a spacious path to the top of the tower, or a small path full of peril and crumbled rocks that snakes up the outside of the tower. Choose the smaller path, for my older brother waylays any who would choose the spacious gate."

Danny the dashing reckoned this sound advice, and proceeded towards the tower. He was careful to follow the moth's instructions to the letter, and while the winding path took nearly half a day to climb and navigate, he soon found himself at the top of the tower. While he was inching his way up the tower, the magician's daughter, who happened to be returning from gathering ingredients for a potion that had the most peculiar property of transforming royalty into amphibians, laid eyes upon this handsome youth. She was good at heart, unlike her greedy and sometimes malignant father, and fell in love with Danny. Quickly, she turned into a bird, flew to the top of the tower, and awaited his arrival, disguised as a servant.

When Danny saw the servant, he asked her where the magician was, and if he would sell some beans. Then Danny told the story of his great grandfather.

"Oh he's out at the moment," said the servant. "But when he returns he's far more likely to kill you. I remember him talking about that story. He only sold your great grandfather those beans because he figured the giants would rip him to pieces, and he wanted the cow. In fact, he was so angered that your family and country has prospered from those beans that he cast a spell on the lord's son to crave those beans at any cost." "This is dreadful," said Danny, who was beginning to think. "But I have a plan that may help me, and if you wish, you can come live with my family when all of this is done." The Magician's daughter in disguise agreed.

It was not long until that magician came along. He spied Danny with his beady and darting black eyes. The boy reminded him of a peasant he had cheated years earlier.

"Oh, most noble and honorable magician," said Danny. "Word has spread of your wisdom and talents, and I humbly entreat you to accept me as a pupil."

The magician smiled cravenly. After all, he could always squeeze some free labour out of the boy and kill him once he learned anything. "Oh, my lad, you will be like a son to me. If you promise to work half the daylight hours, I will let you study my ancient tomes the other half."

And so the routine went for many days. Danny the Dashing would work and then study. At the end of the day the magician would show up, giving Danny a scrutinizing stare, and ask if Danny had learned anything. "Not a thing," Danny would reply, feigning ignorance in his studies. "I can't understand anything."

"You will some day," chuckled the magician, thinking himself lucky to have such a stupid pupil who was so good at daily chores.

Danny learned, and the magician's daughter helped Danny with his studies. But Winter's Beginning was nearly upon the kingdom. It just so happened at this time the magician had desired a bath. While the magician was waiting in the tub for hot water, Danny approached him. "Oh learned and wise master, the bucket has fallen down your well and I regret I cannot fetch you water."

"Stupid boy," said the magician. "Since you are helpless, I will fetch the bucket for you, so I might have my bath." The magician turned into an eagle and soared down the well. Faster than a blink of an eye, Danny cast a spell to seal up the well, and the magician drowned. Then Danny and the disguised magician's daughter dashed back to his father's home.

When Danny got back to his father's house, he learned that the Prince had had a change in heart, and no longer desired the beans. The magician's daughter produced a handful of magic beans from her pocket that she had spirited away, and gave them to Danny's father as a dowry. These new beanstalks only grew half as tall as the other ones, so the giants were helpless to extract tribute. Danny and the magician's daughter were soon wed and live happily ever after to the end of their days.

© 2008 Adam Brennan

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